From Vegetarian to Pescetarian.

My Best friend Sue called me Nemo.

My son giggled nervously, my boyfriend tripped out, and all my sisters almost fainted. Everyone had their own personal crisis regarding my food choice, and for the first time in my life, food began to once again feel fun and experimental.
I'm not completely sure what possessed me to decide to take the leap (or the swim?) over to the dark side and eat the flesh of a marine creature, but it has definitely made me think about the fact that I am ingesting (a) marine life (b) praying over something that was once living (c) wondering if Great Spirit was kind enough to force me into the ways of the ancestral call for health reasons. Sometime in December, I remember mentioning my thoughts of returning to fish to a holistic chiropractor who I feel began doing the work on me before I truly asked for the assistance. Prior to this moment and several bottles of high quality fish oil pills later, something wasn't changing, for example, my weight, and especially after all the successful lifts, classes, cardio and rockin' da bell. Something had to give.

12 years is a long time to talk one's self out of eating a vegetarian lifestyle, but it's also a long time to ingest genetically modified soy with the full knowledge that soy has been blacklisted. When it comes to fact checking however, and the intensity of missing nutrients that the vegetarian diet simply has a tougher time of obtaining through food, it to me, rang undeniable, that the best way to tackle the problem was to allow a fish safe passage to swim into my life and onto my plate.

It is quite strange to have bitten into the canned salmon as my first fish experience and to immediately feel watery, oceanic images of dancing fish and Atlantis underwater. It's almost as if my world of roots and berries disappeared for one short moment, as if to say, no, I am in the aquatic world now. At school, one of my students randomly posted a screen saver with turtles and fish. I don't think I had even broken the news to them before Waterworld occurred. Dances with Fish? I digress.

I had several ask me if this deficiency could be obtained in a pill when all I could really think of was, I need to do this. I need to do this. Have you ever been called to something without recourse, but you knew it was right, and something edifying came along to determine a positive outcome? Yeah, me too.

I found it interesting and highly intriguing that a health maverick, Alex Jamieson of Super Size Me, just recently stepped down from her vegan palate as well. She's the gal who wrote a book, The Great American Detox Diet. I may be seeing a wave of bio-individual change and/or trendiness, but I also may be seeing some real people with a real desire to consume real food, finally. That, or like Jamie, you may feel inclined to simply honor a craving and have a piece of fish.

On a metaphysical note, eating fish is definitely a slightly different experience in terms of how my senses are now feeling information. I was nervous as an empath about feeling the pain and death of the fish. There is no denying that an element of this takes a role in meal times, but it just sends me into a deeper, more prayerful mode, as the attention one has to pay to one's body when consuming something this potent, becomes all the more important.

What is this really about? Besides the plethora of iodine and zinc, I'm certifying as a health coach. Something sounded impossibly exciting about reinventing myself against the climate of experimentation in the backdrop of finding what works best bioindividually. I feel as if the program wrote me a meal ticket to really explore my options, that it was truly my life, and it was meant to be lived well. And even though this has been a mentally and emotionally uncomfortable,  albeit smooth physiological change, I realize that all things must change, if I want to change. That includes my diet.

Grilled Cheese, if you please.

Okay so lately I've been having this mad crazy grilled cheese kick, and it's blowing my mind...and maybe my diet. Now it's made with whole grain bread and red onions, avocado, yellow peppers, and it SHOULD contain three different cheeses...although I don't think this one did, I guess I'm daydreaming about that sandwich. Either way, I've had three now.

What happened to my no gluten, no wheat thing? Because before that, I was doing quite well without any of these items in my life. So I imagine it's time to reevaluate with what I am doing and if it aligns with my highest goals of body fat reduction. So far, I'm not so sure it is. I've been experimenting and exploring with my diet for the last few months now. However, I think I've found my diet culprit. While I'm not completing sure, I don't think it really has to do with my diet at all, but my emotional and mental state towards my weight. I am having a physical block towards the success that weight loss will bring me. Here it is, my team is forming, and I can't seem to run the ball. Something has got to give. My workouts gave. My diet is giving. Now my physical body has to follow suit. No pun intended.

So I went to a holistic chiropractor, he gave me a few physical and energetic adjustments, and I've been maintaining my strength balance, meridians, range of motion and spinal flexibility. He lifted my blocks and showed me the truth of what I'm suffering from. Just like everything, we have to make our goals a priority.

This week I have faithfully returned to my apples and bananas, my nightly greens, cucumbers, avocado a day, protein shake, yogurt, cottage cheese and egg whites with onions. I never really left it, I just got a little overwhelmed schedulewise with cooking last week. I don't feel I have to give up my cheese, but I have to time my meals and make smart choices.

Get your Greens...

Greens are often touted as nutritional powerhouses, and they are. Kale is currently being hailed as the superfood superhero at the particular moment, and I couldn't agree more. This does not mean to say that other greens should be avoided. There was a time when I ate so much broccoli just to prove to myself that I could. When I realized I could...I then lost interest. This is a concern of any normal person with a "normal" palate, meaning, someone who has a regular balance of discipline and devilish delight in the diet.

Now this past week, I found the largest, cheapest bag of spinach and Persian cucumbers I could find and decided this was what I'd eat for a week. Nothing much else except for nuts and yogurt, and at night, eggs after my workout. Maybe in between I'd have a protein shake after my apples and tea latte for breakfast, and the occasional banana. But that would be pretty much it. Now I hadn't had any spinach in a very long time, but this monstrous bag was sure to change that, and how. My question was definitely how. ...could I do it? What would I eat and how many different ways would I use the spinach?

Truth is, I haven't done much to it at all, beyond a delicious and refreshing, huge bowl of leaves. It's what I topped them with, that changed my smirk to a satisfying grin: lemon juice, tomatoes, red onion, Bulgarian Sheep's milk cheese, olive oil and aged merlot salt. This ultra-pleasing, sour combination of food made my evening.

I ate this salad with reckless abandon and vowed to make another, just the same.

The Cult of Gluten-free and whatever percentage Raw.

Ahhh, the fascinating trend of going raw, juicing and going gluten-free, has infiltrated our lives with some interesting truths about the piety people truly like to believe is happening in their diet, amidst such strong clues to the contrary. Here we are, a population of primarily sedentary, obese individuals living in a Monsanto-opearated food industry, against those who identify themselves with health and wellness, in an effort to fight the good fight against the evil food powers that be...and in the end, another doctor publishes another study, and we are off to find health in the latest trend. It's not new, and some of these diet trends have truly saved lives. But in the case of those who seek optimal balance, we know the truth: it took a variety of approaches, time, trial, error, and maybe some sleepless nights (or nights barricaded in the bathroom), to find out what was best for our bodies. It also took a balance of components in the circle of life, to see that we have many issues in our lives to balance along with the food. To quote Joshua Rosenthal of IIN, food is a sideshow to the issues we truly must balance in our lives to be well.

And so I sit here in a food-induced contemplation, wondering how next to proceed without seeming trendy. I mean, I did buy a pair or two of skinny jeans, so I imagine I am following the trends in clothing. My hair is red and blonde, my nails are sparkly candy apple red, I want a Dodge Challenger or Charger (or maybe even an Avenger). That's trendy. I love green tea and use pink Himalayan sea salt. I think that too, for the moment, is trendy.  Okay so having said that, going soy and gluten-free and saying I am 50% raw vegetarian is the same. I'm current in every way!

All kidding aside, it's a tough walk to cut gluten, soy and sugar out of your diet. I think the toughest thing about it is that as you cleanse, the body starts to cry out for the toxins previously pervading your body. Tonight, I wanted all the foods I hadn't been having, from flour to tofu. For the most part I was successful. It had to be that the last two days, I've been blending my vegetables. I'm using spinach, apples, cucumbers, and whatever other fruit I have sitting around. The funny thing is that I'm not eating more vegetable matter by doing this. It in fact is more of the same, and I find that incredibly interesting.

Back in the day, gluten-free meant you were low carbing, and going raw meant you were probably vegan, which was hugely uncommon then.

Food for Thought

Even though I have been vegetarian for 12 years, I ate heavy, rich meats for 28 years. I think seasons of change best fits my psychological profile. It is interesting how many of us look for that "thing" that works, in fact always works, and we find our justifications for believing it, whether it be scientific, yogic or biblical, holistic or moral. Nothing processes the same way all the time in the body throughout one's life, but I feel that some of our scientific methodologies or otherwise can give a roundabout, general explanation.

 For example, Lactose free milk is working quite well for me right now, and I decided to become gluten-free and stop eating wheat and soy products (soy meats and soymilk were a huge staple). In two weeks, it's quite possible that my body says "okay you are done for the moment with that." At which point, I will probably switch to an almond milk or none at all, as I may not be able to justify drinking the sugar content. 

From a yogic and ayurvedic perspective, it is on point for me to consume these products to balance and soothe my pitta influence, and is also very grounding to me at a time when I'm dealing with many ungrounding, strong forces. I blather on. I feel that our bodies can basically consume anything it adapts to, and there are studies that support it. There are also studies that support the noncomsumption for reasons above that yoga eloquently mentions. This is why sometimes I wished I could go back to not knowing, because I made all of my best food choices when I could just go on intuitive feel, and decided when something was right or not for me to consume. My two cents. Namaste.

Working through the change of life...

I've been ensconsed in fitness and nutrition my whole life. So this all should be a no-brainer. Right?? Well...if only it were that easy. I've been pondering all night why I am dragging my heels to simply turn in my paperwork on a program and a process that I can conquer with eyes closed, walking backward, with hands tied behind my back. The truth of food and all of its highs and lows are so obvious to me, that it makes me angry whenever I don't follow my own advice, simply because I know better. But really, to honestly open up on a topic like food in a live journal is both a crazy reality and a mystery to me, since food has always been an awesomely sore subject. It has also been an exciting and inviting adventure into the unknown. Results may vary.
I'm sitting in front of my  computer as we speak. I have a test open right now, that I have two hours to pass. I have to pass with more than 70 percent, which I feel will be relatively easy. However, as for listening to the lectures and really throwing myself into the lesson of nutrition conversations and experimenting, I have not done it on the level I thought I would, back in September. I am also mystified that I started reading several books on food to help motivate me to dig a little deeper and detox myself, when it seems so apparent that I am not pushing to meet my food goals to the degree I would have hoped for at this time. I was supposed to be camera-ready for my shoot, and that was supposed to have happened before school began. hm. There's an issue there.
I'm reading and listening to these gurus in their respective fields. I look at presenters giving fairly magnificent workshop presentations on their specialization, and I await that moment when it becomes me who gives that workshop.  I am that magnificent person. I know that I have what it takes. It is a matter of making time and efficiency work for me, instead of against me.

I think that's in large part what this program is for: empowerment. Period. Being in charge of your life, even if it feels out of control. I would think that part of our reason for staying in old patterns is partly due to comfort zone, but also due to what we can't control.
 If we've lost weight momentarily and weren't able to hold onto its release, we are still trying to control that part of ourselves that created the gain in the first place, and it wasn't the food. We also cannot control the unknown. To me, this is a huge sore spot in many, many people I have spoken with as clients and friends. Starting a diet, running a business, making ends meet are all things we control. What happens when we find success with it? ..we can't always see that far ahead enough to plan it out.
One of the reasons I haven't picked up more clients is for the time I think I'll "lose," in exchange for the money I'll "gain." It's a funny mind play. Now in the end, what do we choose to do instead of the mind play? I used EMDR therapy for a host of issues I had with the energy flow of money and food. Also, teaching yoga has done much to help offset and improve my mind and emotions.

Meanwhile, it's tough to nail something down with...glue...

Reducing my intake on the long road to detoxing.

Ugh. Foiled again by the morning dew drops, acting as lid closers for my eyeballs...and then, it happened. 6:40a. I jump up with a start and realized I had wiled away my morning with sleeping instead of getting myself together for my timely departure. Nothing was intended to fail. Not today. Until....

After having a spoon of natural peanut butter and pounding a small cup of warm tea before driving to work, I ask Kai to pack my lunch. What a great kid. The only thing is that I don't have much to put in there in the way of solid food.
I actually had gotten myself to school on time and I was ready to work. I already had my plan in place for the day. It was only a matter of execution, that was standing between me and my teaching plan.  But now it had gotten to that time of day where my digestion finally awakens from its slumber and begins rumbling mildly while asking for food. Well of course I am non-compliant at first, and slow to progress. Then I realize my stomach is beginning to gently demand that I honor this request.

Really, I've been taking mostly raw food to school in the form of apples, banana, cucumbers and kale salad, almonds, walnuts and dried fruit. I throw in cottage cheese and greek yogurt for good measure. Walking the walk is so important...by 3p, I felt super hungry, so I caved and ate a bag of munchies, 2 eggs with a tortilla and cheese, in addition to half a high protein shake (I got 20g of quality protein and 40g from a full container). I call this caving, since the food wasn't completely on point. There's crowding, reducing, and now, caving. But whatever. I think it was me wanting something solid and not caring after a full two weeks of morning mist for breakfast. I was hungry. Big energy output escapade, sated.

I'm finishing dance rehearsal and flying to Mike's class. Once I get there, I'm not sure I have the calories to get the job done. I asked him on this day to throw in some doozies for the program...and boy, they were great. I did the best I could and felt nauseous as a reward for all my hard work. Yay.
So I'm sitting at the computer and I start to feel that stomach rumbly tumbly thing again, only this time, I'm feeling it in my skin, my neck, my thighs. Each area wreaked of weight loss. We all know how much the body likes to keep it right where it is. But we aren't going to let that X-factor in, so I got up and made a vegan crab cake and vegan shrimp with potato and pea samosas.

Ultimately I feel I am increasing my workout workload and crowding out poor foods while reducing my intake a little. My goal is to get to a full detox, the style of my choosing. I'm virtually gluten/wheat free. While I am confident I will reach my goals, I am perplexed at the profundity of not already having achieved my dreams this round.